In recent years, “nervous system regulation” has become a popular phrase in wellness spaces. We see it everywhere: regulate your nervous system, calm your body, find safety, return to baseline. While the intention behind this language is often supportive, it can unintentionally create a narrow—and sometimes harmful—idea that regulation looks the same for everyone.
From a diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) perspective, it’s essential to say this clearly:
There is no single, correct way for a nervous system to be regulated.
Regulation is person-specific, context-specific, culture-specific, and nervous-system-specific. When we flatten it into a single ideal state—usually calm, quiet, grounded, and still—we risk excluding many bodies, identities, and lived experiences.
Regulation Is Not the Same as Calm
One of the most common misunderstandings is equating regulation with calmness. For some people, calm feels safe and supportive. For others, calm may feel unfamiliar, unsafe, or even threatening.
A regulated nervous system does not necessarily mean:
Quiet
Still
Slow
Soft-spoken
Emotionally neutral
For some nervous systems, regulated looks like movement, expression, sound, intensity, or strong emotion—with choice and capacity. Regulation is not about suppressing activation; it’s about having flexibility and access.
A nervous system can be regulated while excited, while angry, while grieving, or while joyful.
Nervous Systems Are Shaped by Lived Experience
Our nervous systems are shaped by far more than individual coping skills. They are shaped by:
Race and racism
Gender and gendered expectations
Disability and ableism
Neurodivergence
Immigration and displacement
Poverty and economic instability
Chronic stress, trauma, and systemic oppression
For many people—especially those from marginalized communities—hypervigilance, rapid response, or heightened awareness are not signs of “dysregulation.” They are adaptive responses to real and ongoing conditions.
Pathologizing these responses without acknowledging context can reinforce harm and shame.
There Is No Universal “Baseline”
Much of nervous system education centers around the idea of returning to a baseline. But whose baseline are we talking about?
A white, middle-class, able-bodied, neurotypical person with relative safety and stability will have a very different baseline than someone living with racialized stress, disability, chronic illness, or ongoing threat.
Equity-informed nervous system work asks:
What does safety mean for this person?
What has this nervous system learned it needs to survive?
What states are actually accessible and supportive right now?
Regulation Is About Capacity, Not Performance
From a DEI lens, regulation is not about performing wellness in a socially acceptable way. It’s not about appearing calm, polite, or “easy to be around.”
Regulation is about:
Having options
Being able to move between states
Having enough capacity to respond rather than collapse or override
Feeling agency in one’s body
For some people, regulation may look like:
Taking up space
Saying no
Raising their voice
Setting firm boundaries
Allowing tears, shaking, or anger
Choosing rest over productivity
Choosing movement over stillness
None of these are inherently dysregulated.
Nervous System Work Must Be Consent-Based and Culturally Responsive
Practices that are regulating for one person may be dysregulating for another. Eye contact, stillness, silence, breathwork, touch, or meditation are not universally safe or accessible.
A DEI-informed approach to nervous system regulation centers:
Choice
Consent
Cultural context
Individual pacing
Respect for protective responses
It moves away from “fixing” and toward listening.
Reframing Regulation
Instead of asking:
> “How do I calm my nervous system?”
We might ask:
“What does my nervous system need right now?”
“What states feel supportive or resourcing for me?”
“How can I expand my capacity without overriding myself?”
“What adaptations has my body made that deserve respect?”
Final Thoughts
Nervous system regulation is not a moral achievement, a productivity tool, or a one-size-fits-all goal. It is a relationship with the body that unfolds over time, shaped by identity, history, and environment.
When we honor that diversity, nervous system work becomes more humane, more inclusive, and more honest.
Because regulation isn’t about becoming someone else’s version of calm.
It’s about supporting your nervous system in being more you.
